Responding to Hurt
This may be one of the most transparent blogs I have written. At least that I remember writing!
I have been in ministry 14+ years and I have experienced some pretty significant “setbacks” – better yet, hurts. I believe there are 2 kinds of hurt – intentional and unintentional. You know the intentional hurts – these are the moments someone has it out for you! Then there are the unintentional hurts – these are the accidental hurts that someone causes. No matter how you try and spin it both types have the same impact – personal pain/frustration/hurt!
I know that over my life I have hurt people. I hate to admit it but sometimes it has been intentional, but most times not. Recently someone said something to me that cut deep – it is probably the biggest pain in recent years.
So, how do you respond to hurt?
1. Don’t hurt back.
In my nature is the “knee-jerk” to cause hurt to the person that hurt me. The Bible teaches not to respond with the same attitude (ie, turn the other cheek). A good friend of mine, Bobby Petsiavas, said, “Always respond in the opposite spirit.”
2. Talk to someone who won’t talk to someone.
When we are hurt we have to find someone to share the hurt with – be careful not to expose your hurts to someone who will “tell others.”
3. Forgive quick.
Move past it as soon as you process your feelings – no timelines! Be patient with yourself, but make sure you are on the pathway to forgiveness.
4. Don’t be a spiritual doormat.
If someone continues to cause you hurt make sure that you limit that relationship or it will trap you. One hurt on top of another causes deeper pain and the root of bitterness.
I am working on not hurting people – sometimes it happens – to us and by us!