Ways To Handle Conflict

Everyone faces conflict.  It does not matter what position you hold or life path you choose.  Conflict with people is inevitable.  There will be those who disagree with you and those you disagree with.  You will experience negativity, gossip and the occasional direct attack.  Conflict is inevitable, but we all have to learn HOW TO handle it.

DIRECTLY
Go to the person.  It is okay to talk to somebody who may help you process “how to” have the conversation, but be careful who you speak with.

DECISIVELY
Speak to the issue.  Don’t beat around the bush.  Don’t “save it for the last 60 seconds.” Let the person know why you are meeting and then talk it through.

DEEPLY
Go into detail.  Leave nothing left to guess work or wonder.  Talk about everything related to the topic to be resolved.

DEVELOPMENTALLY
The conversation has to be for the good of the relationship and so each of you can walk out better.  If you are not ready to help them develop you are probably not ready for the conversation. You will get there.

DIRECTIONALLY
Be very clear what you expect and the outcome you would like.  Especially if you are an employer or supervisor – make sure you tell them the way you will resolve this issue is by _________.  Don’t leave room for the mysterious.

Several years ago I was in a room with Brian Houston and he said, “Sometimes you have to choose what you tolerate.”  So true.  But then there are times when you can’t tolerate the conflict, issues or problems any more.  That’s when it is time to take action.

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